The TARDIS is not a day care centre
by xXdreameaterXx
Summary: The Doctor and Clara are a little overwhelmed by their four children running wild in the TARDIS. Whouffaldi!Parents.


**The TARDIS is not a daycare centre**

"The TARDIS control room is not a daycare centre!" the Doctor yelled, waving his arms furiously, "Gwen, get your sticky fingers off the telepathic interface."

"Doctor," Clara said, her voice low. She was trying her best to calm him down while still having an eye on each of their four children.

"What?" he glared at her.

"That's not Gwen. That's Leah."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Get your sticky fingers off the telepathic interface, LEAH."

Clara sighed. She knew the Doctor loved every one of them, but he absolutely hated it when they were running wild in the control room. Unfortunately, their youngest, Colin, had caught the flu and was not permitted to come back to kindergarten any time soon. Fearing the other children could be infected as well, their kindergarten teacher had asked Clara to let them all stay at home for the next week. The Doctor was absolutely furious about it. And one way to tell he was furious was the fact that he couldn't tell their children apart.

"But I'm boooooooooooored," Leah complained, now tugging at the Doctor's coat. "Daddy, please show us something cool."

"Oh, you want something cool? How about Ice Warriors from Mars?" he asked impatiently.

"Doctor!" Clara intervened, "We agreed. No scary things."

"Mummy," Tristan approached her from one side, "I think Colin needs a new diaper."  
>"Daddy said to keep your fingers off the buttons," Gwen shouted at Leah.<br>"But I'm bored. I want to go somewhere. Why can't I make the TARDIS move?"

"Because you're too young, silly. Daddy switched it to child-proof mode."

"Man, this sucks," Leah complained, kicking parts of the control unit with her small feet.

"Kids, please," Clara begged. She loved them with all her heart, but as her gaze wandered from Tristan, who was glued to her leg, to Colin, screaming, and to the girls almost taking apart the control unit, she realized that kindergarten was a true blessing. If alone, she was in over her head, especially since they all took a little too much after their dad. And the Doctor wasn't much help at the moment either.

"Please, Clara, get them under control," he had his eyes fixed on the girls, watching their every movement carefully.

"I wish I could. Tell you what, you take the boys, I'll handle the girls," she suggested, "And please don't forget about the diaper."

"I thought we passed the diaper stage already."

"That was with the other three," Clara explained, rolling her eyes. The Doctor could switch from best dad in the world to completely oblivious to the fact that they had children at all, especially when stressed.

"Why are there four of them anyways?" he asked, his tone showing his annoyance.

"Because you idiot kept knocking me up," Clara didn't mean it. He wasn't really an idiot. Most of the time.

"Only because you're so damn fertile. Seriously, what is it with you earth women?"

The bickering was something that would never change, Clara had known that from the beginning. It was what their relationship was made of. First the bickering, and then the making up part. Clara was already looking forward to it.

"Doctor. You. Diaper. Now," she ordered, realising they were at that point of the argument where she had to give an order and then both would resume as if nothing ever happened.

"I hate diapers," he clenched his teeth.

"Yeah, so do I," Clara agreed and turned to the girls, "Okay, you two. Why are you in the control room? You have, like, unlimited space to play hide and seek in. What are you doing here for God's sake?"

"Nooooo," Gwen's eyes almost filled with tears, "Last time I ran into that thing and it scared me."

"Doctor," Clara turned back around, "You told me you got rid of the Ood years ago!"

"I wanted to but I could never find him. But Oods are harmless as long as their eyes aren't red."

"Okay girls," Clara took a deep breath, "Here's a task for you. Find the Ood and bring it to the control room, can you do that?"

"No, that thing is creepy," Leah protested.

"Oh, I can find the Ood," Tristan stepped in.

"Here, you heard him. Your brother will protect you. Now off you pop!"

**OOO**

Clara sank into her pillows next to the Doctor and sighed.

"I love them," she said, "But first thing tomorrow I will call the kindergarten teacher and convince her that Gwen, Leah and Tristan are as healthy as a horse or I will strangle them all."

"Right there with you," the Doctor agreed, "Why do we have four of them?"

"No idea."

The Doctor put his arms around Clara and started to laugh. "It's alright. But let's not ever make a fifth, okay?"

"Never."

"Did Gwen turn up eventually?"

"Nope, still lost in the TARDIS somewhere," Clara said.

"Ah well, they always turn up again sooner or later. Hopefully with the Ood."

Suddenly the TARDIS engines switched on and the Doctor sat upright in bed.

"Oh-oh," he uttered.

"What? What's happening? You told me the child-proof-lock was secure this time!"

"Argh, you know Tristan. Too smart for his own good. But I swear to you, this is the last time he's hacked the damn thing."

With that the Doctor ran out of their bedroom into the control room and Clara knew that she wouldn't get enough sleep this night. But despite all the trouble, she would never regret having children with her Doctor.


End file.
